Writer's Block: Going the distance [Janet Miles]

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I did, a bit more than 21 years ago, and have never regretted it. Although I have been feeling awfully nostalgic this week, looking out over the desert.

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There are 11 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

I didn't know you were originally from the desert!

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Indeed; I grew up in Tempe, Arizona, and moved to Tennessee in 1990.

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I moved 3500 miles to a different country on a different continent (from London to New York). Another city? Pfah.

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I have much deeper "roots" in my forties than I did in my twenties (when I was happy to move for love, or for work.) Uprooting now would be a great deal harder--that's why I'm in long-distance relationships.

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I kind of did the opposite. I *didn't* move, in order to be with someone I loved.

Ye see, when I studied Journalism at college many many moons ago I finished my course - but couldn't graduate without having done 3 years "work experience" (it was required for the diploma). There were no places available anywhere in Scotland - even travelling down to the Borders or up to the Highlands to work in the small local papers who would take someone straight out of college who didn't have a relative in the trade already to open doors for them. (32 people in my class, 16 jobs available, and they all went to sons, daughters and nephews of established journalists).

But there was a chance that if I was willing to move to the Deep South (of England), to a small local paper in Cornwall, there would be a place for me (and no local colleges doing similar courses so no equally trained rivals to compete with). Except I'd met this guy while I was at college, and he couldn't move.

So I stayed here in Edinburgh, didn't get a job in journalism but moved into Hospitality and Admin instead. We've been married 30 years now.

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I'm not too sure.

Someone I love did move to another city for me (although it didn't call for much uprooting).

I've done my share of uprooting and moving, and it wasn't until I got to where I am now that I've ever felt like home. These days it would take quite a bit for me to be willing to move. And there's a fairly short list of cities I'd consider moving _to_.

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This may be a real question for us pretty soon. The husband's team at work may get moved out of state. And there may not be a job for him (doing equally interesting work and receiving equal pay) here when that happens. He's said he'd need a pretty hefty raise to go - at the very least, a cost-of-living increase, plus incentive to pick up and move (the incentive is being able to pay off some debt he's still carrying from when he was in college).

I, OTOH, have no interest in moving. Whatsoever. Much less to this particular part of the country. I am in my 40s, I have an established social network here, I have a job I really like, and this particular move would wreak havoc on my mental health. Before this ever came up, I'd said I have no interest in moving out of state, and that hasn't changed.

Should he be asked to move, and should his salary request be met, I really don't know what we'll do.

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That is a difficulty, and I hope you either don't have to face it or are able to overcome it in some mutually satisfactory way.

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You and me both.

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One thing I've discovered about love: if it can withstand a long-distance relationship, very little else has a chance of bringing it down. That's a very useful datapoint if one is considering such an uproot.

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Been there, done that.

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Janet Miles

Writer's Block: Going the distance

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December